Why Swords and Bandages

Welcome Back!

If you're reading this, we have probably been acquainted through the previous post. If this is your first time reading the tangled web of my thoughts, welcome. I hope you stick by through to the ending and have a few words with me, here or imaginarily. 

So in this blog post, as the title suggests, I shall be discussing why I named the blog "Swords and Bandages". If you go back to the last post, you'll see that I mention two of my defining personality traits; I am either super pragmatic or stupid emotional. Naturally, the choice of names was also taken with these two traits in mind:

I couldn't use my name as the blog title, that was somehow already taken. (that always seems to happen, the first choice in deciding domain names is almost always taken!) That was the practical answer I had to the question of what to write as my blog name.

Next came the name that is currently in use, Swords, and Bandages. And with it came the deeper set of thoughts that I decided to express here.

We've often heard that words can heal and words can hurt. The right thing said at the right time can make grief seem easier and the wrong thing can tumble it over to an edge worse than before. Our words hold weight, they hold power and they come with responsibility. Whatever we say precedes what we actually do, so words then become a trailer to our actions. Literary figures from every arena have made their fame and their living because they knew the craft of having the right words to express ideas bigger than them. The right answer in an interview could make or break your chances of getting a job. The right words can be the best remedy for a lot of situations. Hence, the bandages.

Now, what happens when you run your pen or your mouth without really understanding the impact of what could be the consequences? You could end up emotionally scarring a person, lose the pulse in a thriving conversation or even break someone else's trust in you. It sounds like a scary deal and for the most part, it can be. It's not easy to know what to say in a lot of situations or maybe what you said could be misinterpreted as well. There's always a risk because of the very nature of human beings; flawed. What's important is that we understand that risk and be careful with our words for that very reason. 

Look, I'm not here to preach. You've probably figured a few mistakes in my grammar or maybe even thought of better sentence structuring in what I've written so far, or worse yet still, you're bored...

Hang on, let me get a bit more clarity.

You, right now, the person who's reading, do this for me. Take part in this small exercise with yourself and you'll know what I'm getting at. (Read the steps all the way through before you get to do it.)

• Close your eyes.
• Remember a fight you had someone. Friend, family, lover, yourself, anyone.
• Imagine it getting to the most heated point and try to remember what you said at the time.
• Now pause that moment. Right at the moment, when you said something nasty/nasty back to the person you fought with.
• Think of what you could say that either immediately cool the situation down or surprise the other person with the unexpected niceness at that moment.
• Open your eyes and absorb in the memory with the changed version of what you said.

This is exactly what I do whenever I mess up a situation. I'm terribly angry and impatient as a person sometimes and I have had to learn this lesson the hard way. Throughout my life, I've had some awful things that have been said to me and I too have said some mean shit to people around me. Sometimes I meant it but most of the times, I didn't and I wish I could have a do-over in those situations from the past. But that same past has taught me to be kinder with my words and use them as wisely and kindly as I possibly can. I still cannot strike the perfect balance of being kind yet firm and I screw up regularly but I still try. I try so that my words can heal more than they hurt. That's what I ask you to take away from reading this as well.

We all have this crazy power within us to change time, people and atmospheres in the weirdest ways possible. What's said in one minute can become someone else's lifelong bearing. I'm asking us to be aware of this power, be sensitive to our own self and to others before we hurt, accidentally or otherwise. 

This is a conversation here and my words have your words and thoughts to accompany them. There is no greater joy than this moment for me, right here. Make way in your life for your words and thoughts to create these moments for you and everyone else around you.

- Shreeparna